The pit of loneliness

 Where do I begin, Lord, in giving my heart to you? As I reflect on these last few years of my life, I believe that you allowed me to experience seasons of companionship, joy, merriment, and the fullness of fellowship. Slowly, it feels as though each companion has been stripped away from me, leaving me with the loneliness I’ve always feared. What do I do with the ache? Lately, I have been dwelling in my feelings of isolation and lovelorn. I don’t think I should try to fill my time with people as that might serve as a distraction in your purpose for my season of loneliness. But what should I do Lord? I feel sad and desperate, longing for partnership with someone who won’t feel the same. Why haven’t these feelings left me yet? How many more times must I lay them down in surrender to your will? Is there a point to the blurred line in our friendship now? Will I ever get an opportunity to share how I feel, all that I feel? If not him, will there be someone else for me? Can I love them more? Does the rest of my life lie in this pit of isolation? Help me Lord and please be with me. Let me pursue you and find that you are the only one that can fill this void. Would you bring me peace, joy, contentment? Would my identity not be shaken by the uncertainties of life or by dissatisfaction in my circumstances, let my identity be founded upon you. Let me find hope and experience your love and grace. In Jesus Name, Amen.